More News of the Kickstarter Project Edit
Volarian writes Edit
|“|| For some context here, Elton, I haven't had a lot of direct interaction with you over the years, but I do recall many posts by you here under a few different names, and on other boards like ENWorld.
I understand you've acknowledged the need for an editor for the actual Player's Guide and your wiki, but I think that cannot be emphasized enough. As you yourself state:
This cannot be overstated. You are attempting to bring interest to a product that you have written, and the Kickstarter pitch is unfortunately a fairly good example of your writing style. Your writing always conveys your own enthusiasm about your work and your subjects of interest (Alexander the Great, psionics, realistic campaign weather patterns, public nudity, etc), but does a poor job of enticing others to share that enthusiasm.
I understand that you are not sure how much it would cost to have an editor for the entire project or the wiki, but perhaps you might have a friend or colleague who would be willing to edit just the Kickstarter page for you. If so, I think it would help your pitch immensely. I'd strongly urge you to reach out to other small publishers to check on editor costs though.
As for the art, I actually don't mind the idea of using real-world maps, particularly if the setting is based on a particular era of history, but the character and cover art shown don't sell the product very well.
The hero looks like fairly generic poser art (though I realize you've said in a previous thread that you use a different 3D modeler), and the helmet on the cover mock-up also doesn't grab me.
The idea of a Hellenistic, psionic-focused, near-real-world campaign setting is already going to be fairly niche, so some attention-grabbing art could go a long way. In addition to linking to Yama Orce's Deviantart, as was suggested if you were working with them, perhaps it would be worth seeing if he would let you use a piece of existing character art for the mockup.
I like that you have a 2-page mockup of the layout, but I would suggest that the image should be large enough for the text to be legible. This might be another good opportunity to showcase the editing. Have a side-by-side comparison of the existing wiki page for the topic, and then the mock-up can have post-edited text.
Again, if you are unable to find an editor that would just work on a page or two, I'd suggest asking a friend who conveys themselves well in writing. It is only two pages, and a mock-up after all, so it wouldn't need to show the true final quality, but it should be an improvement over the wiki.
Regarding the rewards. For a first Kickstarter for a niche pdf product like this, I wouldn't suggest offering pledge rewards of more than $50. You can always offer higher reward tiers if it looks like the Kickstarter is going to take off. You're more likely to get interest from a large number of people willing to drop a few dollars than a small number willing to spend $150 towards this kind of product. You may even want to scale your base pledge down to $5 for the pdf.
I am responsible for all the responses I've received above. So, they given their opinion and that can't be changed.
February 19, 2015 Edit
Putting on the last changes to my project with Rite Publishing on the Indesign File, and have worked a little bit on the Qin'ae wiki adding a link to the Zaratan cryptid and working on the Qin Language. That's what I've done today.